The largest-recorded dollop of human dung will blow your mind

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You may not be able to stomach this colossal dollop of dung.

The large, “precious” poop — officially known as the Lloyds Bank coprolite, the formal term for fossilized turds — is a 1,200-year-old log that is thought to be the largest recorded in human history.

At 8 inches long and 2 inches wide, the specimen was discovered in York, in the United Kingdom, in 1972 in an area once ruled by Norse warriors. It was found beneath what would later become a local bank branch, according to Atlas Obscura. The dung takes its name from the institution — Lloyds Bank. 

The huge poo had another red-letter moment in 1991 when dung scientist Dr. Andrew Jones appraised the piece in the name of insurance. 

“This is the most exciting piece of excrement I’ve ever seen,” he told the Wall Street Journal at the time. “In its own way, it’s as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels.”

Paleoscatologists have been able to discern much from the girthy deposit, including that its producer ate mostly meat and bread was likely a Viking, lived in approximately the 9th century AD — and had a gut full of parasites. Indeed, the manure was found to be infested with Whipworm and Maw-worm eggs, suggesting the Viking often had an upset stomach and other gastrointestinal problems, Atlas Obscura wrote. 

Today, the log resides in a glass box at the Jorvik Viking Centre where, in 2003, visitors dropped it, breaking it into three pieces. It has since been repaired.

The Centre is proud to call itself the turd’s final resting place, even hosting a virtual workshop in February called “Poo Day!” — in which fans learned about the dung’s significance. 

“If you want to make your very own Viking poo during the livestream (adult supervision is strongly recommended!), you’ll need a few ingredients to hand. We’ll go through the ‘method’ during the livestream!” the Centre advertised at the time. 

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